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Benny Kisses!
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Thursday, April 14, 2011

Delayed Gratification

How many of you have heard the story of Louis Vuitton the pitbull who was badly burned?  here is a photo of him:

   Briefly, a mother told her son "No" to something he wanted and he became so angry he went out to her dog, Louis, and badly hurt him.  He had no impulse control, or another way to say this, was unable to delay gratification.  He wanted what he wanted NOW and if this wasn't going to happen someone would pay the price......someone weaker and smaller than him.  An author of the book 'Emotional Intelligence", Daniel Goleman felt that developing emotional intelligence was a way to restore, "civility to our streets and caring to our communal life."
The ability to delay gratification is one of the elements of Emotional Intelligence.  Today I was waiting in line.....a long time.  One of the many daily opportunities to test my delayed gratification skills.  How did I do?  Well, on the inside I was grumbling and complaining and my outward behavior was one of staring off and not looking happy.  At one point a woman farther behind me began expressing her frustration in a loud voice and then, a young teenage man behind me said in a calm and friendly voice, "the checker is moving as quickly as she can." I think the whole line took a breath. 
The line was not going to move any faster because anger and frustration were shared.  A young child or puppy are not going to learn more quickly if frustration or anger are shared.
Perhaps one reason of why so many animals are abandoned is because they take patience and time?  Did the young man who hurt Louis grow up where most things he wanted were given to him immediately and if they weren't he threw fits?
How many animals and people have been abused because someone was unwilling to deal with the feelings that come with feeling frustrated?
On the other hand, how many people have been taught to deal with frustration with maturity.....i.e., delayed gratification.

Wishing you all support in developing delayed gratification,


  1. A very good reminder for me as I absorb and deal with the events of my life this week. Thanks Benny for your continued lessons!

  2. I am visiting in the SF bay area this week and today I experienced rush hour traffic. It has been a long time since I sat on a freeway watching the tide change. It gave me a lot of time to think about how I used to react to traffic. Frustrated, mad, yelling at drivers that couldn't hear me. Now, I look around and watch the tide change. I am grateful for being alive and able to help others see the tide change. Blessings to you Benny (and Patti). Namaste