Benny Kisses!

Benny Kisses!
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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

How is it that people can be so cruel?

As you can see from the photo above of Benny and Teddy playing in the sprinkler, Benny is healthy and happy. This is the result of many people cooperating together. Since Benny is happily adopted and healthy this will be our last post and we deeply thank all of you.
This last blog post will be longer than previous posts. I want to respond to a reoccurring question that many of you have asked, "How is it that people can be so cruel?" I want to offer a possible perspective, starting with Darwin!
In Darwin's later years of life he wrote an almost unknown book called " The Descent of Man." In this book he shows how humankind arose through the agencies of 'love and altruism' and discusses how through the acts of, "....aiding the weak to survive......the instinct of sympathy," and other traits are perhaps" the noblest part of our nature". In the book, "Mans Search for Meaning," written by Viktor Frankel, a Holocaust survivor, he mentions how some people even in the midst of the horror of the concentration camps could still find beauty and do acts of love.
Altruism and love are not limited to humans, there are countless examples of these traits exhibited by non-humans.
What is considered to be the foundation necessary for the development of altruism and love? The answer may surprise you:
The dictionary defines nurturing as:nurturingpresent participle of nur·ture (Verb)
1. Care for and encourage the growth or development of.
2. Cherish
I have mentioned in past blog posts the leading edge research of Joseph Chilton Pearce and the development heart intelligence. Dr Pearce says this about nurturing:. " Nurturing proves to be the only way by which we can be fully developed from conception to maturity. Nurturing is the staff and stuff of human life, the one indispensable necessity, yet now having become so rare. Somewhere along the way nurturing was diluted and adulterated to the point of being sidetracked and made insignificant by our concerns for survival."
Have we given up nurturing because of our 'survival concerns?'
Consider this, nurturing provided by a consistent caregiver is what produces bonding. An unbonded human (and even non humans as shown in Jane Goodall's research about the impact of unbonded chimps, or in the book 'When Elephants Weep", about how young elephants when separated from caregivers became a rogue gang) is capable of all kinds of cruelty to others because of lack of bonding.
Dr Pearce goes on to discuss that because we have developed such a 'superior brain' we have also developed what he calls 'counterfeit nurturing'. We as a species are becoming more intellectual but not intelligent. Intelligence requires the heart. So we have come up with intellectual forms of nurturing, TV, Computers, DVDs, basically a virtual reality which we are seduced by out of our need for nurturing.
So how are we nurturing our children today?

  • two-thirds of infants and toddlers watch a screen an average of 2 hours a day

  • kids under age 6 watch an average of about 2 hours of screen media a day, primarily TV and videos or DVDs

  • kids and teens 8 to 18 years spend nearly 4 hours a day in front of a TV screen and almost 2 additional hours on the computer (outside of schoolwork) and playing video games

  • Kids are actually encouraged to watch TV by their parents as a form of 'childcare'
    48% of our infant children spend more time in childcare than with a primary caregiver
    We have developed the intellectual ability to build bombs, destroy our oceans, destroy our planets atmosphere, create weapons of mass destruction and yet what is needed to grasp that we are destroying each other, other species and the very planet we live on is 'heart-brain intelligence' whose development depends on the nurturing function itself. We have actually lost the ability to deeply 'hear' and be changed by what we hear because how we hear depends upon our receptor development. For example, generations of us have heard over and over about the importance of love and yet we do not have more loving societies, we have increasingly more violent ones. One has to be 'hearted' in order" hear" about love and make the changes that this hearing requires.
    Without heart-brain intelligence we are capable of all kinds of cruel behaviors.
    A few common examples of undeveloped heart-intelligence
    a person who is 'reactive', i.e., consistently impatient, irritable, quick to anger, blaming others, wants thing NOW
    only able to compete, not able to cooperating with others
    lack of tolerence for differences
    not able to extend caring beyond ones self or immediate family to others
    lacking skills for sustaining relationships
    lack of generosity, sharing, or being of service to others
    lack of listening skills
    Can this be changed? YES! We have built within us genetically the ability to transcend any limitation which could prevent us from developing heast-intelligence.
    If we have been deprived of adequate heart-brain nurturing then what is needed is an environment that provides nurturing, safety, love, touch and the experience of being wanted. While this may sound too simplistic this is what it boils down to.
    What is needed is loving and kind human communication, eye contact, play, body movement, time in nature, soothing sounds, and close heart contact on a physical level. Emotional and physical are the same here, how many humans have been deprived of love and touch from the beginning of their lives. No ammount of counterfit nurturing can make up for real nurturing.
    And this is where dogs like Benny come in, dogs have helped many humans begin to develop heart-intelligence through touch, nurturing, eye contact, play, body movement (taking dogs for walks), and being a soothing presence.

     A society is defined not only by what it creates, but by what it refuses to destroy ~ ♥ ~

    In gratitude, thank you everyone,


    1. No no no no no!!! Don't let this be the last post!!! Please ... we need Patti and Benny!!!

    2. This is so amazingly insightful. I have never had an answer why some people can be so cruel, and now at least I have something. And it is something that makes so much sense. Thank you Pattie and Benny. namaste
      P.S. some of us still like to see pics of Benny on occasion. The things you have posted here are food for the mind and the soul. Benny style. Many pups styles if we would only be quiet long enough to listen.

    3. I am so sad that we won't be hearing from Benny anymore. He has been such an inspiration to so so many people. It's been so heartwarming to watch his progress and see him grow into a happy loving funny dog. Please reconsider. Many rescue parents create facebook pages where they periodically update how their adopted dog is doing. Bad Rap does this all time and countless others. We really need to have those period check ins to keep all of us dog rescuers inspired because dog rescue is such a heart wrenching venture. We need to keep our hopes alive. Thank you for sharing with us Benny's path to happiness and health. My email is Please let me know if you decide to do a FB page on Benny. Thank you!!! And we love you Benny! - Sarah and Warren in Portland, OR

    4. Thanks Patti and Benny for all of your wonderful insight! Kim G.